Jan 23, 2009

This week, the FDA approved Savella, a new drug designed to help sufferers of Fibromyalgia, a chronic disorder characterized by extensive muscle pain and heavy fatigue. As with any drug, Savella has some potential side effects users may want to be aware of...

Possible Side Effects of Savella, the Newly-Approved Fibromyalgia Drug

—May cause occasional fibromyalgia. (Mike)

—Excessive Savellation. (Sean)

—Complete and utter inability to tell Dylan McDermott from Dermot Mulroney. (Joe)

—Sudden, screaming orgasms while driving. (Brandon)

—Sleepwalking, sleep eating, and sleep genocide. (Jameson)

—Extensive muscle pain could be replaced by acute testicular pain. (Brad)

—Powdered urine. (Matt)

—Inability to properly administer the oath of office for an incoming U.S. President. (Brandon)

—Involuntary speaking in the distinctive voice of The Lion King's Ernie Sabella. (Jameson)

—Increased chances of myofibralgia. (Sean)

—Uncontrollable urge to shout out Larry Bird's name during sex. (Mike)

—While watching The NBC Nightly News, anytime Brian Williams speaks, all you will hear is the haunted moans of ancient ghosts. (Brandon)

—Genital wings. (Matt)

—Whenever you read a word that has a "Q" in it, you poop a little. (Joe)

—Difficulty swallowing, or in rare cases, way too much ease in swallowing. (Jameson)

—Penile texting and vaginal blogging. (Brandon)

—Overwhelming desire to buy large quantities of stock in Forest Laboratories, Inc. and Cypress Bioscience, Inc., the makers of Savella. (Matt)

—Sexual attraction to Al Roker. (Brad)

—Uncontrollable urge to punch Terry Bradshaw in the neck (though results were the same with placebo). (Brandon)

—Muscle spasms, including coordinated spasms and, in some instances, reports of spontaneous opera composition. (Jameson)

—Belief in the idea that the Golden Globes "matter." (Matt)

—Excessive desire to ask your doctor for a medication you know nothing about for a condition that you may not even have. (Sean)

Baron von Contributors: Sean Hecht, Brad Kruse, Brandon Kruse, Matt Kruse, Joe Mulder, Jameson Simmons, Mike Wagner

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