POOP READING

Sep 3, 2010

Additional Courses to Be Offered at Glenn Beck University

Before applying, just make sure you have a safety school, like O'Reilly Tech, Hannity College, or Dartmouth.

America's Most Underestimated Company

The Fear Tax

Sep 2, 2010

The Best Job Ever – My One-Figure Deal With the Minnesota Twins

Deep-Fried Beer Invented In Texas

Sep 1, 2010

Want to save arms from blowing out? Don't put them in, coach

Aug 31, 2010

Why Randy Quaid Is Better Than The Indianapolis Colts: An Analysis

This Is Not a Recovery

Aug 27, 2010

Surprising Stipulations Found in the Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement

Luckily, there's enough green jackets for everyone in the family.

Why Free Parking Comes at a Price

Aug 26, 2010

Fake Jail, Real Money: The Similarities Between Wealth And Confinement

Aug 20, 2010

Other Construction Projects Deemed Too Inappropriate to Be Allowed Within Five Blocks of Ground Zero

If you build it, they will scrum.

Aug 13, 2010

Ways JetBlue Plans to Improve Employee Morale

If you're JetBlue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where you can earn plaudits: puttin' on the PR blitz.

Aug 12, 2010

Don't Worry: The Romantic Comedy Is Not Dead At The Hands Of Gerard Butler

Aug 10, 2010

Internet neutrality: Verizon, Google, and the Woody Allen problem

Resistance Forms Against Hollywood's 3D Push

Aug 9, 2010

Oakland Goes Hollywood with Brad Pitt's Moneyball Production

Aug 6, 2010

Reasons Brett Favre is Being So Indecisive

You can't spell "Favre indecision" without "divine fiasco." (You also can't spell it without "fine vino sidecar," but that's just silly.)

Aug 5, 2010

Review: That's Kick-Ass Entertainment

Review: Kick-Ass

Aug 4, 2010

12 Star-Powered College Roommates

Kevin Kline on The Extra Man and How to Pee in Public in New York City

Aug 3, 2010

Dude, Where's Your Car?

Jul 30, 2010

Other Things Obama Fears Will Be WikiLeaked

Loose lips, now at your fingertips!

Now That You Mention It, Rock Hudson Did Seem Gay

Jul 28, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: June-July 2009

From Sarah Palin to rejected Jeopardy! categories to the Congressional health care bill (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Louis C.K. Stares at the Void

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Boring

Jul 24, 2010

Reasons Mel Gibson Is So Angry

Oh like you've never been caught delivering a series of screaming, profanity-laced tirades on the phone to the Russian singer-songwriter who bore your child.

Jul 23, 2010

5 Classic Movie Moments That Weren’t in the Script

Jul 22, 2010

"Firefly" Rewind - Episode 6: "Our Miss Reynolds"

Jul 16, 2010

American Secrets Discovered by the Russian Spies

No, even they don't understand why Two and a Half Men is so popular.

Jul 15, 2010

Joss Whedon: His Best TV Episodes Ever

Jul 14, 2010

A Boss Made for the Big City

The New Next Steven Spielberg

Jul 13, 2010

The Fletch-Caddyshack Comedy Axis

Jul 9, 2010

Signs That Parents Are Getting Fed Up With Parenting

Stupid perpetuation of the species!

Jul 7, 2010

Louis C.K. on the Importance of Acting Like an Asshole

Nighthawks State of Mind

Jul 6, 2010

Why Do Dads Lie on Surveys About Fatherhood?

Jul 2, 2010

Reasons the Founding Fathers Hate Our Stupid Guts

And this after we've spent all these years celebrating their accomplishments by eating hot dogs and blowing stuff up.

Jun 30, 2010

The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation

Sixty Years in Dodgers' Booth, and Scully Is Still in Awe

Jun 25, 2010

New Slogans for BP

Because if there's one thing slicker than oil, it's good spin doctoring.

Toilets: A simple solution to world health issues

Jun 24, 2010

Time To Start Believing, U.S. Fans

Jun 23, 2010

Yankees' Long-Forgotten Mascot

Jun 22, 2010

"Somewhere a Dog Barked"

Copyright: The Elephant in the Middle of the Glee Club

Jun 21, 2010

American Idiot

Jun 18, 2010

Other Uses for the Vuvuzela

Why should soccer fans be the only ones to enjoy teeth-grinding aggravation and temporary hearing loss?

Stay on target

Jun 17, 2010

The Day Moneyball Died

Jun 16, 2010

5 Reasons Your Mom Wants an iPad

Jun 11, 2010

Real Reasons the ESPN Zone Restaurant Chain Failed

They flew too close to the sun on wings of buffalo.

NCAA hits USC with severe penalties

Jun 10, 2010

"Last Comic Standing" - Los Angeles Auditions

"Friday Night Lights:" An Emmy-Worthy Episode

Unknown Senate Candidate in SC Faces Felony Charge

Jun 8, 2010

Bill Hicks: the man who said the unsayable

How Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Is Crowdsourcing Done Right

Jun 7, 2010

Does the Internet Make You Smarter?

Does the Internet Make You Dumber?

Jun 4, 2010

Surprises Found in Mark Twain's Forthcoming Autobiography

Why couldn't Miley Cyrus have waited 100 years to publish her autobiography?

Why Obama Should Put BP Under Temporary Receivership

A Review of Sex and the City 2 by Someone Who Doesn't Know Anything About It

Jun 3, 2010

Armando Galarraga And Jim Joyce: Victims Of Baseball's Imperfections

Jun 2, 2010

Angry Boss

To the Cult I Inadvertently Started Last Night

Jun 1, 2010

Monkey Business

May 28, 2010

Ways to Fill the Void During the Summer TV Hiatus

Which is not to be confused with Ways to Kill the Noid Using a Plumber's PVC Apparatus.

Entertainment A-List No. 9: Lorne Michaels

May 26, 2010

From Big Leagues, Hints at Sibling Behavior

Interleague play unnecessarily tips the scales in the pennant races

May 25, 2010

A.V. Club Interview: Will Forte

What the Supreme Court's antitrust ruling means to the NFL

May 21, 2010

Surprises Found in the Final Episode of Lost

Come on, why would they give us anything other than more of the lucid, straightforward, plain-spoken storytelling we've come to enjoy over the years?

Kevin Costner donates 'Ocean Therapy' invention to clean up BP oil spill

Talking Shit

May 20, 2010

CBS Is Trying To Kill "Community"

May 19, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: April-May 2009

From Somali pirates to the new Star Trek movie to Obama's first 100 days in office (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Willie Banks: Returning to baseball saved my life

May 17, 2010

Lowe-Down on Parks & Rec – Suits Wanted Eye Candy

Tuned In: Parks and Recreation

May 14, 2010

Lesser-Known Features of the New NASCAR Hall of Fame

Celebrating 62 years of ancillary carbon monoxide poisoning!

Do 'Family Values' Weaken Families?

May 11, 2010

Tax the Hell Out of Wall Street and Give it to Main Street

Get Rid of Internet Memes

May 7, 2010

Other Ways BP Plans to Make Up for the Gulf Oil Spill

You just know the make-up sex is going to be really, really good.

After dark, the dirty work at Disneyland begins

Toy Story 3 director Unkrich earns spotlight

May 6, 2010

If I Didn't Want It, I Wouldn't Have Let "You" Take The Car

Statues Honor Minnesota Twins Greats

May 5, 2010

Can Your Baby Wield a Machete?

May 4, 2010

If the TSA Were Running New York

Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner: He's No Obama

Disney Uses Cliffhanger to Market Toy Story 3

Apr 30, 2010

Rejected Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors

Maybe they'd be good enough for those jerks over at Häagen-Dazs.

A Story We Somehow Knew Was Coming (TSA Dept)

Apr 29, 2010

Employees Fired For Pursuing Alleged Shoplifter

Apr 28, 2010

Private, First Class

Apr 27, 2010

The Betty White Meme: When The Internet Stopped Making Sense

Apr 23, 2010

Additional Problems Caused by Having Too Much Sodium in Your Diet

As it you didn't already have your hands full dealing with the side effects from your Savella.

Apr 20, 2010

Successes (and Some Growing Pains) at Hulu

Apr 19, 2010

What Do TV Directors Do?

Apr 16, 2010

Things That John Paul Stevens Will Miss About Being a Supreme Court Justice

Sure, there's the job security, the power, the prestige... but what about the really important stuff?

Apr 15, 2010

What David Foster Wallace Circled in His Dictionary

Why Conan's TBS Announcement Left Team Coco Feeling Vaguely Unsatisfied

Apr 14, 2010

If They Build It, You Will Pay

Apr 13, 2010

Twins New Playground a Minnesota State Fair

a mote of dust

Apr 12, 2010

How Good Was the Springfield Power Plant Team?

Apr 9, 2010

Things You Don't Want to Hear Your Doctor Say

You're gonna want to start stocking up on apples.

Apr 8, 2010

Expansion of NCAA Tournament to 96 Teams Assures Butler Will Be Big Dance's Final Cinderella

The Gods of the Copybook Headings

Apr 6, 2010

Holland Taylor: A Class Act's Next Tough Dame

Apr 2, 2010

Signs That the Pittsburgh Pirates and Their Fans Have Given Up Hope

Celebrating nearly 20 years of making the Kansas City Royals and their fans feel better about themselves.

Instant Relics

Mar 31, 2010

All Aboard the Butler Bandwagon

Mar 30, 2010

I penned the suckiest movie ever - sorry!

Mar 26, 2010

Additional Gaffes Made by Joe Biden

He who gaffes last, gaffes best.

David Mamet's Master Class Memo to the Writers of The Unit

Mar 25, 2010

Fast Food That Won the West

Last Supper Helpings Have Grown

Mar 24, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: February-March 2009

From March Madness to unwanted Barbie dolls to Christian Bale's profane tirade (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

Making bureaucracy work: How NBC's Parks and Recreation overcame bad buzz

10 Stars Who Started on Sesame Street

Mar 23, 2010

Joshua Malina talks 'Backwash'

Conan O'Brien: Coming soon to daytime TV?

Mar 19, 2010

Moral Imperatives That Didn't Make the Cut for the Ten Commandments

And you thought it was hard enough just trying to live up to the existing ones.

The Movie Studios' Big 3D Scam

Mar 18, 2010

Stages of NCAA Tourney Bracket Grief

In Teen Music Choices, Anxiety Rules

Mar 17, 2010

Can You Alter Your Memory?

Mar 16, 2010

Hollywood Has Reached a New Low (And It Is Awesome)

Categories for the Meta Awards

Mar 12, 2010

Lesser-Known St. Patrick's Day Traditions

You might find them preferable to screaming "Erin Go Bragh!" for five hours with a shirtless guy named Sully.

Movie Draft: Second Thought

If you thought you'd seen everything Woody Harrelson would do with a dead person, you were wrong.

Mar 11, 2010

Movie Draft: Rule #3

Imagine Ocean's 12 meets Son of Oklahoma, only way shittier.

The Shusher and the Shushed: Why It Matters When You Talk During Movies

Mar 10, 2010

Movie Draft: Once Upon a Time

Moviegoers who see Once Upon a Time are not likely to live happily ever after.

Were These the Most Boring Oscars Ever? We Have Mathematical Proof

Mar 9, 2010

Movie Draft: If You Knew Suzie...

Meryl Streep and Morgan Freeman... how can you possibly go wrong?

Mar 8, 2010

Movie Draft: Man From Nowhere

The first of five reviews of the films from the 2010 Movie Draft gives us Christopher Plummer and Stanley Tucci fighting over railroads and Penélope Cruz's heart.

We the Problem

The Office’s Jenna Fischer on Tonight’s Baby Episode, and Why Pam Misses Her Old Desk

Mar 5, 2010

Other Ways the U.S. Postal Service Plans to Cut Costs

Looks like we gave up a little too quickly on that whole Pony Express idea, huh?

Popcorn: Cinema's Worst Enemy

Mar 4, 2010

Thabeet Seeks Boost From D-League Stay

Mar 2, 2010

Cats vs. Dogs

Printing body parts

Feb 26, 2010

New Slogans for ESPN

Honestly, they were just grabbing a gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to that girl's pants!

John Ratzenberger: Pixar perfect

Has Disney Gone Mad?

Feb 25, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Director

After this comes the big dog: Marmaduke! No, I mean... Best Picture!

Crystal Mangum's Return to Court

Feb 24, 2010

Building a Better Broadcast

Feb 23, 2010

The Snubbies: Best Actor

Just two more to go after this one: Best Director and Best Picture. I don't know about you... but I'm going to miss the Snubbies when they're gone.

Terrorism Derangement Syndrome

Feb 22, 2010

A Wild Conversation with Tracy Morgan

Feb 19, 2010

Rejected Winter Olympics Events

Not surprising coming from the people that shot down Skijöring back in 1928.

Ricky Gervais Reveals All About Office Babies Spin-Off: "It's Definitely Happening"

The 5 Worst Decisions Ever Made by TV Executives (Twice)

Feb 18, 2010

Beware: Here Comes an 'Inglourious' Upset at the Oscars

Dowdy Image Swept Away as Curling Celebrates the Rock of All Ages

Feb 16, 2010

The Olympics Sap-o-Meter

The Snubbies: Best Supporting Actress

The Oscars may not be able to get it right, but by God, we will. Join us all week for the Snubbies!

How does Facebook make overt self obsession OK?

Feb 15, 2010

Did I Get Married Too Young?

Feb 12, 2010

Other Things Sarah Palin Has Written on Her Hand

Still, a note on her hand beats two on George Bush.

A Calculus of Writing, Applied to a Classic

Feb 11, 2010

Obama's "Stupid" Jab at Vegas

Feb 10, 2010

Oscar Duel: Is Quentin Tarantino a Great Director?

Feb 8, 2010

Claire Danes Does Her Homework for HBO's Temple Grandin

The Replacements, Still Replaced in Video Games

Wrong

Feb 5, 2010

Other Problems Found in Toyota Vehicles

Did we learn nothing from the classic 1986 Michael Keaton comedy Gung Ho?

Crash Blossoms

Feb 2, 2010

Groundhog Day

Feb 1, 2010

The Great American Soap Overdose

Jim Gaffigan Talks Domino's, Law & Order, and Having the Gall to Accept Serious Acting Roles

Jan 29, 2010

Signs That You're a Little Too Obsessed with Apple and Steve Jobs

There is definitely such a thing as too much of a good thing.

How Movies Activate Your Neural G-Spot

Jan 28, 2010

The Chin Abides

Jan 27, 2010

The End Is Near

The Fall of Harrison Ford

Jan 26, 2010

On the Jury, Gene Weingarten Didn't Believe the D.C. Police's Eyes

Obama's Get Goldman Plan

Jan 25, 2010

Why The Office Clip Show Was So Jarring

Norma Rae

Jan 22, 2010

Mistakes Made by Martha Coakley in the Massachusetts Senate Campaign

You can't spell "Democratic Party" without "tired crap."

A Row to Myself

Jan 21, 2010

Secret Rituals of "American Idol" Exposed

O'Brien Flops

Jan 20, 2010

Out of the Picture

SportsCenter

How Team Coco Channels Our Great Recession Anger

Jan 19, 2010

Is Gawker's "Apple Tablet Scavenger Hunt" illegal? Probably.

Jan 15, 2010

Other Rejected Solutions to NBC's Late Night Problem

Which was caused by the solution to their prime time problem, which was caused by the original solution to their late night problem. Proud as a Peacock, indeed!

Walk Away From Your Mortgage!

Jan 14, 2010

Mr. Smith Rewrites the Constitution

Jan 13, 2010

Best of Baron von Funny: December 2008-January 2009

From Rod Blagojevich to unpopular holiday stories to the auto bailout (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

There's No Telling What Will Come Out of Ricky Gervais' Mouth

Jan 12, 2010

Conan Calls It Quits

Advice For Conan From The Late Shift

Jan 11, 2010

Now New Orleans is His Focus

Jan 8, 2010

Memorable Moments from 2009 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to make a bunch of shit up.

The Naked Truth About Airport Scanners

Jan 7, 2010

The (Too) Many Loves of Warren Beatty

Jan 6, 2010

How Is Wind Chill Calculated? (Plus 9 More Wind Chill FAQs)

Jan 5, 2010

Avatar vs. Up in the Air: The Most Symbolic Oscar Race Since Forrest Gump vs. Pulp Fiction

Best & Worst Case Scenarios of Every NFC Playoff Team

Jan 4, 2010

Boy Wonder

Should We Just Boycott the Movies in January?

Jan 1, 2010

Is aviation security mostly for show?

Dec 30, 2009

Steve Martin is a Wild and Busy Guy

Sport's First Gay Superstar

Dec 29, 2009

The Odds of Airborne Terror

The Physics of Space Battles

Dec 28, 2009

Having a Healthy Midlife Crisis

Dec 25, 2009

Least Popular Christmas Carols

Good luck going a-wassailing with these.

Dec 24, 2009

A Visit From St. Nicholas

Dec 23, 2009

Excerpts From My Mother's Editorial Notes On My Letters To Santa, 1987-2000

After Further Review

Dec 22, 2009

The Top Ten Stories of the Last 4.5 Billion Years

Keep the Meme Alive

Dec 21, 2009

"Dexter" Exclusive: Michael C. Hall Talks About Season 4's Killer Finale

Dec 20, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 15

Just the picks. Very busy.

Dec 18, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Avatar Movie

Who knew that a film set 150 years in the future on a fictional planet located several light years away from Earth would have surprises?

Seriously Funny People

Pixar guru John Lasseter makes his presence felt on Disney toy aisles

Dec 17, 2009

Never Listen To Celine? Radio Meter Begs To Differ

The Top Five Beer Towns In the U.S.

Dec 16, 2009

The Best Walking Partner: Man vs. Dog

Sitcom of the Year: Parks and Recreation

Dec 14, 2009

Why You Can't Stop Gay Marriage and Marijuana

Dec 11, 2009

Things That Might Be in Your Drinking Water

Waterworld was right: we're just a couple years away from needing to filter and drink our own urine here, people.

Baseball's War Against Hamburgers

Dec 10, 2009

Time Machine: Vikings vs. Bengals, December 25, 1989

Chaos In Tigerland: A Deadspin Investigation Into The Sexual Habits Of Pro Athletes

Dec 9, 2009

Colbert, Fey, and Carell: Comedy's Power Players

League of Nations

Dec 7, 2009

How Dangerous Is It to Read on the Toilet?

Dec 6, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 13

Well, it's not really a proper picks column, per se, but I wanted to make sure to get my picks in for the record, at least.

Dec 4, 2009

Additional Accusations Being Made Against Tiger Woods

Looks like somebody's sliced one deep into the rough.

Bust Up Big League Sports

The "Palinization" of Palin

Against Camel Case

Dec 3, 2009

Making Marriage Last: Right Activist Seeks To Ban Calif. Divorce

Dec 2, 2009

That Couple

The Singularity Is Near

Dec 1, 2009

L.A. Clippers Announcers Meet With Iranian Player They "Insulted"

Nov 30, 2009

"(Best) Film Ever!!!"

Nov 27, 2009

Other Toys Listed on the "Trouble in Toyland" Report

Santa's not the only one that knows who's been naughty.

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part Two

I need a good week. I'm only one game above .500.

Nov 26, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 12 - Part One

A quick picks column for the three Thanksgiving Day games.

The Art of Holiday Food.

Nov 25, 2009

Covering Teen Wolf: One Coach's Guide

Yes, She Can: Palin Has a Shot at the Presidency

Nov 24, 2009

Has Bell Invented a "Telegraph Killer"?

The Greatest Generation (of Networkers)

Nov 23, 2009

Bill Simmons, Establishment

When Mr. Clean Meets Ms. Messy

The Lessons of the Cy Young Awards

Nov 20, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Sarah Palin Memoir

Looks like someone's "going rogue" on herself.

'I'm going to tell my son the worst swearword in the world'

Nov 19, 2009

You Can Cut Back on Alcohol

Nov 18, 2009

Best of Baron von Funny: October-November 2008

From the presidential election to the explosion of the iPhone to the futility of the Detroit Lions (and more!), enjoy some of our favorite jokes from one year ago.

9 Tasty Foods Named After People

Nov 17, 2009

The Death Of Mistakes Means The Death Of Rock

Nov 16, 2009

Did Bill Belichick Make Correct Decision?

In Memory of David Lloyd

Nov 13, 2009

Hulk Hogan Complaints About Returning to Wrestling at Age 56

Remember kids: say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and for the love of all that is holy, will you please turn down that music?!?

Penalty! Unnecessary Blandness!

How to Avoid the Exhausting Planning and Preparation That Goes into Making a Second Date

Nov 10, 2009

Food Ads Make You Fat – Even If You Don't Buy the Food

The Truth About Lying

Too Much Beef

Nov 9, 2009

Up Director Pete Doctor on His Next Project and Why Pixar Movies Always End With Chase Scenes

Will E.T. Look Like Us?

Nov 6, 2009

Ways That Nicolas Cage Wasted Hundreds of Millions of Dollars

Oh, like you've never spent outrageous sums of money to buy multiple European castles.

NFL 2009, Week 9

Bad week last week. Good week this week? One week, two week, red week, blue week! (Sorry; I haven't been getting much sleep...)

I hope I get swine flu.

Nov 5, 2009

Tina Fey's 10 Favorite 30 Rock Moments

An SNL Digital Short

Nov 4, 2009

Pitching in New York: Not for Sissies

Awkward Suggestions

Nov 3, 2009

Collecting Headlines Funnier Than This

Nov 2, 2009

Why is Pedro Martinez Smiling?

Oct 31, 2009

NFL 2009, Week 8

Happy Halloween, everyone, and Happy Week 8 of the NFL Season!

Oct 30, 2009

Least Popular Halloween Costumes for 2009

I mean, come on, if you're not going to dress up as the late Ray Walston, what's the point?

Fans Tell of Boos and Blues

Ricky Gervais: Perfectly crazy choice to host Golden Globes

Oct 29, 2009

Let Us Now Praise... the Cliché

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

Oct 28, 2009

Peter Berg and Kyle Chandler on the Restructuring of "Friday Night Lights"

Freaked Out Over "SuperFreakonomics"

Letterman and Me

Oct 27, 2009

The Anatomy of Determination

Oct 26, 2009

What's Behind All the NFL Blowouts

Oct 23, 2009

Balloon Boy Family Excuses

Hey, since when is deliberately misleading and using the media for your own gain considered to be anything other than a fine American tradition?

The Collider, the Particle, and a Theory About Fate

NFL 2009, Week 7

Man, I thought of such a witty, insightful blurb for this space, but now I can't for the life of me remember what it was.

Oct 22, 2009

BCS Intelligence

Oct 21, 2009

Usain Bolt Would Have Been Outrun By Our Ancestors, Claims Anthropologist

Oct 20, 2009

Wall Street Smarts

5 Reasons It Sucks Being a Joss Whedon Fan

Oct 16, 2009

Reasons Why the Math Scores of U.S. Schoolchildren Are Failing to Improve

Won't somebody please think of the children!

Monty Python Documentary Is Comedy Catnip

Petulance and the Prize

Oct 15, 2009

What Torture Never Told Us

1-800-Political-Venom

Oct 14, 2009

There's No Place Like Home

Oct 12, 2009

Obama Becomes Japan's English Teacher

Know Your Coens: A Serious Quiz

Oct 9, 2009

Titles For a Fourth Jason Bourne Movie That Will Keep the Franchise in Alphabetical Order

Because nobody wants to be like those philistines who run the Batman movies.

NFL 2009, Week 5

In which the handsomeness of AFC East quarterbacks does not go unremarked upon.

Oct 8, 2009

My Conversations With a Gay Pro Athlete

Writing the Book On the "F" Word

Taking the Pill For Past 40 Years "Has Put Women Off Masculine Men"

Oct 7, 2009

Twins, Tigers Save the Best for Last

Oct 6, 2009

In Beep Ball, Umpires Aren't Blind, But the Players Are

Oct 5, 2009

The Metrodome: A Thin Line Between Love and Hate

A New Style of Sports Films

Oct 2, 2009

Other Reasons Americans Are So Distracted While Driving

Probably because they're trying to come up with clever little blurbs for the snarky joke lists on their podunk website.

Letterman admits affairs after report of blackmail

Where The Buffalo Roamed

NFL 2009, Week 4

10-6 last week... let's keep it up. Let's creep steadily toward non-mediocrity.

Oct 1, 2009

The BCS: Asleep At the Switch

Lakeview Terrace

Sep 30, 2009

Woody Harrelson: The Anti-Antihero

Community: Chevy Chase Is on Fire

Scenic Routes: Barton Fink

Sep 29, 2009

Why We Should All Be Scared Now That Facebook Has Gaydar

Sep 28, 2009

Vikings Get Their First Good Taste of Brett Favre's Legend

Sep 25, 2009

Additional Ernie Anastos Catchphrases

May we all keep fucking that chicken.

NFL 2009, Week 3

Hope you like limericks. This week, it's nothing but limericks.

Sep 24, 2009

From carry-on to eBay: The journey of airport security booty

Sep 23, 2009

Pimp My Bed: The Male Sleep Lair

Chevy Chase on Community

Sep 22, 2009

Box office boffo for brainiacs: The Netflix Prize

Ricky Gervais' honest 'invention'

Sep 21, 2009

Why Patrick Swayze Was the Second Best Movie Star Ever

The Trouble with Tim Tebow

Sep 18, 2009

Other Interjections Kanye West Can No Longer Keep to Himself

Free your mind, and your mouth will follow.

Sep 17, 2009

Bill Hicks's Principles Of Comedy

Ernie Harwell's Farewell Comes Amid Tears, Cheers Of Fans

Sep 16, 2009

The Not Ready for Primetime Player

When a Parent's "I Love You" Means "Do As I Say"

Sep 15, 2009

Shane Acker stretches animation with  9

Why I Don't Assign Homework

Sep 11, 2009

Surprises Planned for the New Season of Survivor

Besides the surprise that there's yet another season of Survivor.

NBC putting Leno in awkward spot

Sep 10, 2009

Writing Is Easy!

Sep 9, 2009

Stephen Colbert on Deconstructing the News, Religion, and the Colbert Nation

The Myth of the Overscheduled Child

Sep 4, 2009

Other Things the Airlines Will Soon Be Charging You For

Because they love to fly, and it shows.

Masters of the Wikiverse

The Beatles: Rock Band Easter Eggs

Sep 3, 2009

A Long Wait Stirs Enthusiasm For Fox Show "Glee"

The Sports World Without the Internet?

Sep 2, 2009

The Quick 10: 10 Secret Menu Items

After Years at Work, Jason Bateman Proves He Belongs

What's a High Ankle Sprain?

Sep 1, 2009

Paul is dead

A Grand Bargain Over Evolution

Aug 31, 2009

Whatever Happened to Nomar Garciaparra?

6 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets from Cheers

Aug 28, 2009

Signs That You're Getting a Little Too Paranoid About Swine Flu

And just when you were starting to get over your SARS mania.

The Best Television Shows of the 2008-2009 Season

In which all four of our Ten Best lists are factored in, and we tell you, once and for all, what the best shows really are.

Cormac McCarthy's Mr. Belvedere

Aug 26, 2009

Ted Kennedy: What I've Learned

Aug 25, 2009

Status-Quo Anxiety

Selected Scenes from Trauma Clinic: HMO

Aug 24, 2009

Mariners' Suzuki on a First-Name Basis With Records

Mila Kunis is Funny, Fearless, and a Total Babe

Aug 21, 2009

Additional Perks the Vikings Used to Lure Brett Favre Out of Retirement

You know, besides the prestige that comes with joining an organization that has lost four Super Bowls.

What Happened to Comedy?

A Modest Proposal for Improving Football

The Daily Death

Aug 20, 2009

Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds Is About What Could Have Happened

Favre Impresses Receivers With Zip On Passes

Yale Surrenders

Aug 19, 2009

I Couldn't Be More Excited About Brett Favre

Some fellow Vikings fans aren't as excited as I am about Brett Favre coming to town. I try to explain to them why they're wrong.

Baryshnikov in Baseball Cleats

Favre Officially Vilified In Green Bay

Aug 18, 2009

Christina Hendricks Isn't All That Fussy

Aug 17, 2009

Nats Make Pitch To Strasburg, and It's Time To Swing a Deal

Yang Gives Galleries Heart, Bit of History

Heaven's Database

Aug 14, 2009

Other Ways the Chevy Volt Will Improve Your Life

Unlike that leech on society, the Ford Escape. Get a job, you hippie!

That Amy Adams Touch

Shape Matters

How is America going to end?

Aug 13, 2009

The Forgotten

Face Of the NFL Is Gone: An Ode To the Single-Bar

The Whole Foods Alternative To ObamaCare

Restating the Case For Human Uniqueness

Aug 12, 2009

Look What the Dog Swallowed!

Aug 11, 2009

The Iron Giant, A Decade Later

FX likes Louis C.K.

Aug 10, 2009

John Hughes

Aug 7, 2009

Real Reasons Paula Abdul Left American Idol

She needs a reason?

Jay Leno Show format revealed

Aug 6, 2009

Louis CK Is the Best Stand-Up Comic of His Generation

If Barack Obama is Spock, Sarah Palin is Kirk

Legalized Sports Betting is Inevitable

Aug 5, 2009

A Show Within a Show

A Last Word on the Beer Summit

Aug 4, 2009

Paramount Pictures waves the flag for G.I. Joe

Aug 3, 2009

Held Hostage in North Korea

Top 10 Bizarre Restaurants

Jul 31, 2009

Other Ideas Considered to Resolve the Gates-Crowley Dispute

After all, it's not like the White House has better ways to be spending its time and resources.

A Beer with Obama

The New Unsafe Sex

A Man's Home Is His Constitutional Castle

Jul 30, 2009

Clara Turley's Bible Challenge

Jul 29, 2009

Apatow on how to learn nothing from a near-death experience

Fix Your Terrible, Insecure Passwords in Five Minutes

Whatever Happened to My Girl's Anna Chlumsky?

The "President" Has Some Explaining To Do

Other than the mountains of irrefutable evidence that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen, what evidence do we actually have that Barack Obama is a natural born United States citizen? One patriot dares to ask the tough questions...

Jul 28, 2009

Pandora's Back

Jul 27, 2009

Baseball's Haul of Fame

Jeff Daniels: Standing Next to the A-List

Jul 24, 2009

Recent Additions to the Congressional Health Care Bills

Your tax dollars hard at work!

Gluttons for Punishment Are Balm for ABC

Armando Iannucci

Katherine Heigl is not going to let you see her breasts, ever

Jul 23, 2009

Videogame Companies Move Onto Hollywood's Turf

CBS Censors a Racist Rant

Jul 22, 2009

When It's Time to Walk Away

Summer's Hottest Notes Placed in Illegally Parked Cars

Jul 21, 2009

One small step for clarity

Restoring lustre to prestige titles

First Person: Frank Ahearn

Jul 20, 2009

In a Moment, Belief Disappeared For Watson and His Fans

Jul 17, 2009

Rejected Harry Potter Book Titles

Sometimes the road to success includes a few wrong turns.

Some thoughts on the anthology

Hands or Paws or Anything They Got

Jul 16, 2009

As American As... Cricket

Jul 14, 2009

Michael and Michael Have Issues With The State

The Glorious Third

Jul 13, 2009

Sanchez's Dad, Righetti Savor No-Hitter

Jul 10, 2009

Ways That Al Franken Can Make Up For Lost Time

Preferably without resorting to using a DeLorean modified by an eccentric scientist to travel back to a period several years before he was born.

Essential Life Lesson #1: Over is Right, Under is Wrong

The Eternal Flush

Jul 9, 2009

7(ish) Things I've Always Wondered About Back to the Future

Smooth, Segway

Good Enough, Smart Enough: Why Al Franken Will Be a Superlative Senator

Jul 8, 2009

Explaining All the Injuries

What It Feels Like... to Be Mauled by a Lion

Jul 7, 2009

Giving up my iPod for a Walkman

Best Weekend Never

Jul 6, 2009

Federer, Woods Are Two-of-a-Kind In Best-Ever Debate

California Dreamers

Death By Cheese and the Dreaded Ruptured Stomach

Jul 3, 2009

New Slogans for Mississippi, the Fattest State in the U.S.

Or: How Mississippi Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cankle.

Knives Out for Michael Mann

Jul 1, 2009

Non-Essential Mnemonics

Jun 30, 2009

10 friggin' nominees

Just a Quick E-mail

The Whipmaster

Jun 29, 2009

Let's Burst the Bubble

Jun 26, 2009

Other Proposed Changes to the 2010 Oscars

That is, besides just making it longer and more self-congratulatory.

The Tragic End of Michael Jackson

Spinal Tap isn't tapped out yet

$1 Million Netflix Prize So Close, They Can Taste It

Jun 25, 2009

Sanford Thinks Adultery is Wrong (If Clinton Does It)

Heartless: The Disturbing Glee at Mark Sanford's Downfall

Jun 24, 2009

Interview with Professor Michael Showalter, Part One

Get a Life, Holden Caulfield

Jun 22, 2009

Pursuit of Grand Slam Mark Not the Same For Roger Federer Without Rafael Nadal

Jun 19, 2009

Other Things Sarah Palin Is Now Demanding an Apology For

Up to, but not yet including, this list.

Land of Lost Movies

Videogames and the Impossibility of Escape from Planet Earth

Jun 17, 2009

Tina Fey: Let's Face It, She Rocks

Tom Brokaw Pre-Tapes

Why Nice Guys Should Finish First – But Don't

Jun 16, 2009

How to Approach the Sensitive Question: Anal?

Palin Can't Outsmart Letterman

Jun 15, 2009

Norm Macdonald Talks Stand-Up, Teases FX "Reality" Show

Jun 12, 2009

Rejected Jeopardy! Categories

Yet somehow "Potent Potables" still gets a free pass.

With Apologies to the Palins

David Letterman isn't the only one who has some explaining to do.

Did David Letterman Get a Free Pass?

Orphaned Tweets

Jun 11, 2009

Achtung, Baby!

The Early Jobs of 13 Political Icons

Can Right-Wing Hate Talk Lead To Murder?

Why 2009 Is Shaping Up As the Year of No Stars

Jun 10, 2009

30 Rock Is a Rip-Off of The Muppet Show!

Steve Martin and His Passion, The Banjo

A Note From Stephen Colbert

Jun 9, 2009

The Costliest Ten-Dollar Cat in Texas

Jun 8, 2009

Sly Stallone Pudding & 7 More Unique Celebrity Products

Jun 5, 2009

Less Prestigious 300 Clubs

Sometimes membership does not have its privileges.

Why GM failed

Easy Solutions #1

Jun 4, 2009

Viewing a TV Death In Four Acts

Jun 3, 2009

Randy, the Babe Ruth of Beanballs

Jun 2, 2009

The Birth of "God kills a kitten"

Jun 1, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part II

Let's finish what we started, shall we?

May 29, 2009

Additional Details About Dos Equis's Most Interesting Man in the World

He's far more fascinating than Heineken's Most Drunkenly Incapacitated Dude in a Wendy's.

The Coming Superbrain

May 28, 2009

Conan's "Tonight Show"

27 Observations About the Goddamn KFC Line I'm In

May 26, 2009

The Most Interesting Man in the World

May 25, 2009

Another Side of Kerouac: The Dharma Bum as Sports Nut

May 22, 2009

The Ten Biggest Non-Sports Upsets of the Last 25 (or so) Years, Part I

Jesse "The Body" Ventura over real gubernatorial candidates, "American Idol's" Kris Allen over everyone else, VHS over Beta, and more...

Carlos Mencia's Twitter: 25 Posts Too Unfunny To Be Stolen

High Times

Least Popular Home Repair Books

Sometimes doing it yourself is best left to other people.

May 21, 2009

Question: Who's the Longest-Running Fictional Character Ever?

Obama Loses His "Cool"

May 19, 2009

The Next Dimension: Does 3D Really Work?

May 18, 2009

Does Bringing Back "Chuck" Mean A New Network Model?

Twins Built on High-Character Players

May 15, 2009

Additional Cheerios Claims That Were Shot Down By the FDA

Hey, you can't blame a multi-billion-dollar corporation for trying.

May 14, 2009

Katz and Dogs

May 13, 2009

Moneyball the Movie: Ex-Players, Coaches Taking a Hack at Acting

May 12, 2009

Home Is Still Where My Eyes Are

May 8, 2009

Surprises Found in the New Star Trek Movie

Because if there's one thing rabid fan bases love, it's unexpected changes to their beloved franchise.

The Man Who Fell to Moon

Regarding The Jonas Brothers

May 7, 2009

Judd Apatow on Ghostbusters Rumors, Dinner with Diddy, and the Joke He Cut from Year One

Do NBA Players Try Harder In the Playoffs?

May 6, 2009

No Tipping, Please

Can Chevy Chase Save NBC?

May 5, 2009

If I Ever Create a Doomsday Machine, I'd Like it to Have the Following Features

Justice Cincinnatus

May 4, 2009

OK, Remaining Favre Fans: Now Can We Talk?

May 1, 2009

Less Publicized Accomplishments From Obama's First 100 Days in Office

If an accomplishment happens in the forest and no one is around to witness it, does Obama still get credit for it?

Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era

A Brief History of the 'F' Word

Apr 30, 2009

Justice Stevens Renders An Opinion On Who Wrote Shakespeare's Plays

Car Wreck

Apr 29, 2009

David Wain: "I'm Going to Battle Centurions in Central Park"

Apr 28, 2009

Computer Program To Take On "Jeopardy!"

Apr 27, 2009

Michael McKean Explains Spinal Tap Songs

Generation Me

Apr 24, 2009

Other Controversial, Inappropriate, or Otherwise Odd Remarks Made By Miss USA Pageant Contestants

America's sweethearts say the darndest things.

Apr 23, 2009

The Sound of Musing

Can "Chuck" Be Saved? Even Josh Schwartz Isn't Sure

Apr 22, 2009

Where Fan Mail Goes to Get Answered

Don't Joe Morgan the Moneyball Movie

Apr 21, 2009

The State DVD is On!

Thoughts on Pot vs. Alcohol from a Former Police Chief

Apr 20, 2009

Starting with Logo, Lions on New Mission

The Hundredth Senator

Do You Think Bandwidth Grows On Trees?

Apr 17, 2009

Pros and Cons of Being a Somali Pirate

Apparently there's more to it than just pointing at things off the starboard bow and yelling "Avast, ye scurvy dogs!"

Apr 16, 2009

A Threat In Title IX

A Team That Chose Principles Over Gold Medals

Apr 15, 2009

For All His Oddities, Fidrych Was an Overgrown Kid Living the Dream

Apr 14, 2009

Our Lives, Controlled From Some Guy's Couch

Understanding Twitter

Apr 13, 2009

Olympian Political Correctness

Baseball's Judicial Branch

Apr 10, 2009

Other Celebrities Who Will Be Joining the Obama Administration

It's not exactly a collection of the best and the brightest.

The Weekly Log, 4/10/09

I whine about an obscure baseball urban legend and recommend a show on DVD.

How Deep the Rabbit Hole Goes

"Fast" Cash

Apr 9, 2009

KROQ Scores With "April Foolishness"

Wauaugh! – Howard the Duck, George Lucas' Best Movie About a Talking Duck, Finally Arrives on DVD

Technology's Gutterball – New Gear Makes Bowling Too Easy

Apr 8, 2009

Make It Blockbuster's Last Night

Apr 7, 2009

Unpopular

When Ninjas Meet Golf, God Save Tiger Woods

Apr 6, 2009

Why Legalizing Marijuana Makes Sense

Judah Friedlander Likes Hats

Ten Surprisingly Common Causes of Death In TV Hospitals

Apr 3, 2009

Andy Rooney Commentaries That Were Rejected By 60 Minutes

It's a fine line between cranky old humorist and becoming a real-life version of Grandpa Simpson.

Story Bored

The Weekly Log, 4/3/09

Thoughts on NASCAR (sort of), "Castle" (watch it), and Uncle Ned Packers Fan (I'll explain...)

Apr 2, 2009

Is Chicago's Star Falling?

Apr 1, 2009

The Nude House of Wacky People

Poehler's Opposites

Mar 31, 2009

What Happened to the Perry Bible Fellowship?

Nice Move, Mr. Bond, but How's Your Parking?

Mar 30, 2009

The Rise of the Likable Jerk

7 Ridiculous Products Licensed by Major League Baseball

Mar 27, 2009

New NBC Slogans

Is "meh" a slogan, or more of a corporate statement of purpose?

The Weekly Log, 3/27/09

A sports team with stupid uniforms finally suffers real consequences; plus, trifling thoughts on "American Idol" and "Dollhouse."

Your Hair is Different

Robert Downey, Jr.

Mar 25, 2009

What Your Favorite Movies Were Almost Called

Script Notes From the VP of Programming Following the Inevitable Purchase of the Spice Network By GE/NBC Universal

Missing the Man Who Made Nicolas Cage a Star

Mar 24, 2009

Oh, Mother!

Listening to Boredom

Mar 23, 2009

I Love You, Man

You Don't Need Stats to Know Greatness. Meryl Taught Me That.

Mar 20, 2009

Signs That You May Be Suffering From March Madness

Self-diagnosis in 25 easy steps. Remember, doctors say early detection is the key.

Mar 19, 2009

Too Many Kiddie Cooks Spoil the Broth

For Sale: The $100 House

Mar 18, 2009

My 2009 Bracket, Part Two

In which you find out who I pick to win it all. And I know the suspense has been killing you.

Mar 17, 2009

The Hot Seat: Jason Segel

Mock Web sites stretch TV gags

Growing Sentences with David Foster Wallace

Mar 16, 2009

Paul Rudd: Everybody's Buddy

"Watchmen" vs. "Incredibles": No Contest

Watching Stewart-v-Cramer With Wall Streeters and Working Folks

The Brokest Generation

Mar 13, 2009

Chien-Ming Wang Headlines That Less Mature Sports Editors Could Try to Run During Spring Training 2009

Levels of sexual innuendo not seen since the heyday of Minnesota Twins outfielder Randy Bush.

Mar 12, 2009

Honkballing Dutch Deliver KO Blow For the Ages

Mar 11, 2009

5 Failed McDonald's Menu Items

What Tim Geithner Can Learn From Baseball

Life After Gilmore Girls: Egg Salad, Adelaide, and All

Mar 10, 2009

Boy Toy

Some Post-Oscar Thoughts on Forecasting

Mar 9, 2009

Getting the Ax – It's Awesome

Mar 6, 2009

Least Popular Versions of the Barbie Doll

Let's just say that mistakes were made.

The Weekly Log, 3/6/09

To welcome my second daughter into the world I've got some parenting tips; and for no reason in particular I've got a slight bone to pick with the movie In Bruges.

Ye Olde Social Network

Mar 5, 2009

The Internet Is Changing the Game For Celebrities

Mar 4, 2009

The Year NBA Teams Quit Early

Where the Neon Lights Are Bright - And Drivers Are No Longer Welcome

Mar 3, 2009

The Afterlife of Glamorous Things

Melting Pot of Melodrama Enthralls French Nightly

"Did Babe Ruth Take Asteroids?"

A little kid's question at the Baseball Hall of Fame prompts a father to conclude that the job of the Hall of Fame voter is not the same as the job of a dad.

Mar 2, 2009

World War II Warning

A Skeptic's Take On the Public Misunderstanding of Darwin

What's a Hulu? The Origins of 8 High-Tech Names

Feb 27, 2009

Lesser-Known Provisions in the New Economic Stimulus Package

Clearly not all provisions are created equal.

Old Media Strikes Back

Feb 26, 2009

Roomba FAQ

Going Battier

Feb 25, 2009

The Mount Rushmores of the AL

The Mount Rushmores of the NL

Second Coming

Why the Music Industry Hates Guitar Hero

Feb 24, 2009

Taste Test: Thingamajig vs. Whatchamacallit

Money Made Him Do It

Five Bold Predictions For 2009

The End of a Particularly Funny and Interesting Era

I loved, loved, loved "The Adam Carolla Show." And now it's gone.

Feb 23, 2009

10 Worst Post-Oscar Career Choices

Feb 20, 2009

Better Ways to End Long Speeches at the Oscars

Because we'd like to free up time for more awkward, stilted banter between presenters.

Don't Worry About Conan

Feb 19, 2009

Welcome Back, Junior

Movie Draft: Son of Oklahoma

The fourth of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft gives a taste of rural politics, steamy sexual intrigue, and family secrets with Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, and who else but Angelina Jolie?

Movie Draft: Out of Order

The third of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft showcases the comedic talents of Richard Jenkins, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt and Philip Seymour Hoffman, as Melissa Leo looks on (hey, somebody's got to play the straight man).

Feb 18, 2009

Joss Whedon Goes Where No TV Man Has Gone Before

Movie Draft: Americano

The second of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft finds Penélope Cruz, Anne Hathaway and Mickey Rourke in a thriller set in the hot, steamy jungles of Central and South America.

Movie Draft: Fly By Night

The first of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft brings us Robert Downey, Jr. on a quest for the truth about the 1969 moon landing.

Curious Factoids Revealed by Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin Following An All-Night Presidents’ Day Pub Crawl

Feb 17, 2009

Oscar Predictions You Can Bet On!

The 4-Year-Old Appears on Deal or No Deal.

Feb 16, 2009

Thirty-Nine Questions for Charlie Daniels Upon Hearing "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" For the First Time in Twenty-Five Years

Feb 13, 2009

Additional Past Transgressions Alex Rodriguez Admitted to This Week

The truths finally come out.

Baseball Pitches Illustrated

You're Welcome America

Feb 12, 2009

Rubbing Him the Right Way

Feb 11, 2009

Job Opening for a Villainous Time-Traveling Sidekick

Understanding A-Rod

Reinvention draws near for Newsweek

How to Get Some on February 14th

Shirtless Bible Salesmen

Feb 10, 2009

Steve Martin On Being 'Born Standing Up'

Don’t Be Like Jessica Simpson: A Lesson For Young Girls Everywhere

Feb 9, 2009

Alex Rodriguez, Fallen Hero?

Coca-Cola Classic to be "Classic" no more

Feb 6, 2009

Other Things That Will Set Off a Profanity-Laced Tirade From Christian Bale

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Rise of Citizen Dave

Indie Rock’s 5 Most Overused Animal Names

Feb 5, 2009

8 Successful People Grateful They Got Canned

You're Trashing My Scene!

Jan 30, 2009

Other Revelations in Joe Torre's Upcoming Book The Yankee Years

Which is not to be confused with the best-selling male adolescent sex guide, The Yanking Years.

"The State" Reunion at SF Sketchfest

Professor Uses Mathematics to Decode Beatles Tunes

Jan 29, 2009

Steve Martin: Thinking "Pink"

Jan 28, 2009

Take Bacon. Add Sausage. Blog.

Basketball Teams That Wear Long Pants? They're Out There

Jan 27, 2009

You Got Served

What, Exactly, Is Slumdog Millionaire?

The Elements of Spam

A Wonderful Day for Washington, D.C.

Jan 26, 2009

Microsoft Oval Office

How Much Is a Best Picture Nomination Worth?

Jan 23, 2009

Possible Side Effects of Savella, the Newly-Approved Fibromyalgia Drug

Consult your doctor or pharmacist to learn whether these jokes may be right for you.

Oscar Nomination Talking Points

The Weekly Log - 1/23/09

Normally on Fridays in this space you get an NFL picks column out of me. Such a column is significantly more difficult to put together when there is no NFL football being played, so I debut a new Friday feature. I hope you like it.

Jan 22, 2009

Obama Takes Oath Again, Faithfully This Time

The Cardinal Curse

Ridesharing in the Future

Jan 21, 2009

25 Ailments That Can Be Cured By Having Sex

Why Hollywood Needs a New Model for Storytelling

Jan 20, 2009

"Supergraphics" Anger Tenants In L.A. Office Buildings

Jan 19, 2009

Crisis-Aversion Index Cards That Get Me Through a Normal Day

I Don't Want My Web TV

10 Questions We Hope Lost Answers This Season

Jan 16, 2009

Surprises Planned for the Obama Inauguration

It can't just be all swearing-in and speeches. It can't!

Obama Returns Night-Owl Presidency

My Tape Measure - An Appreciation

Jan 15, 2009

Rob Thomas and Company Get Ready to Party Down

The Minnesota Recount Was Unconstitutional

Hell to the Chief

Jan 14, 2009

Is Obama a Real Post-Partisan?

Homeland Security USA Reviewed

Jan 13, 2009

Ignorance is Not a Sportswriting Skill

They're Just Two Wild And Crazy Guys

Jan 12, 2009

The Best Show On TV

The title goes back to "30 Rock"... and, since all that needs to be said about that show's principals has been said already, we take a bit of a look at the episodes written by the man who's written most of the best ones.

Let Freedom Ring: Busting the Myth of the Salary Cap

Jan 9, 2009

Better Ways to Pick a College Football Champion

Anything's better than the system they have now. Am I right, ladies?

Gay-Tham for Statham

Jan 8, 2009

"Wherefore" does not mean where

Jan 7, 2009

No Wonder Don Larsen Was Perfect

When Life is Just a Bowl of Freebies

Jan 6, 2009

Pat Hingle Dies at 84

Jan 5, 2009

Bleeping Expletives

A Series of Letters to the First Girl I Ever Fingered

Jan 2, 2009

Better Uses for NBC's 10pm Time Slot Than Giving It to Jay Leno

Is it possible to burn a time slot? Or feed it to wolves?

11 Words That Sound Offensive, But Aren't

Dec 31, 2008

8 Strange & Different Restaurants

It Was 30 Rock Meets WKRP in Cincinnati

The Seven Best Capers of 2008

Dec 30, 2008

5 Famous Actors & The Roles They Turned Down

Is Your Netflix Queue Destroying the Environment?

Dec 26, 2008

Memorable Moments from 2008 That May Not Have Actually Happened

Hindsight isn't always 20/20.

NFL 2008 - Week 17

Merry Christmas and Happy Inevitable Late-Season, Playoff-Missing Collapse, Vikings Fans!

Dec 24, 2008

Prospectus Today: A Holiday Surprise

Dec 23, 2008

A Best Picture Contender's Guide to Running Against Slumdog Millionaire

Dec 22, 2008

The Science of the Hangover

Dec 19, 2008

Least Popular Holiday Tales

Hey, they can't all be "Frosty the Snowman" or "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

What Your Favorite Teams Were Almost Called

Dec 18, 2008

Bob Newhart: What I've Learned

Dec 17, 2008

Mickey Rourke Could've Been a Contender

Dec 16, 2008

Gentlemen, Stop Your Engines

The Winner

So You've Decided to Attack a World Leader

The contents of a pamphlet found among Iraqi shoe-thrower Muntadhar al-Zeidi's personal effects shed some light on his methods...

Dec 15, 2008

Corrine

Alec Baldwin Delivers Dialogue to Die For

Dec 12, 2008

Additional Demands Made by Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

Because demanding too little in an extortion conspiracy is the kind of thing that could really haunt a guy.

How to make a romantic epic

Dec 10, 2008

Jay Leno's Prime-Time Move Just Another Uninspired NBC Idea

Dot-Com Startups That Never Hit It Big

It was probably for the best that they didn't. (Enjoy a special non-Friday bonus BvF!)

Billy Ripken Obscenity Bat: He Finally Talks 20 Years Later

Dec 9, 2008

Fifty Years of Popular Songs Condensed Into Single Sentences

Dec 8, 2008

The Painty & Bucket Show

Everybody's been clamoring for some absurd sketch comedy featuring talking household tools, right? Right?

Dec 5, 2008

Ways the Big Three Automakers Plan to Spend $34 Billion

What, you thought they were actually going to use it to restructure their business models and make better cars?

Behind the Bets: Why An Uninformed Grandmother's Picks Will Always Be Better Than Yours

Dec 4, 2008

White Russians Arise, This Time At a Bowling Alley

The Most Disturbing Animals on Earth

The Best Show on TV

I didn't give "How I Met Your Mother" the title of The Best Show on TV, "How I Met Your Mother" took the title by brute force.

Dec 3, 2008

Tech Watch: Why Is Movie Rental Still So Damn Difficult?

Dec 2, 2008

Death to film critics! Hail to the CelebCult!

A Short History of the Bagel

World Series of Poker Coverage, from the Pro's Perspective

Dec 1, 2008

Two Minutes and 42 Seconds in Heaven

Nov 28, 2008

Other Missteps That Will Result in a Lifetime Ban for "Pacman" Jones

Just in case his lawyer hasn't done a very good job of reading the fine print.

Nov 26, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 13

I didn't have a losing week last week, folks! Everything's coming up Mulder!

Paging Kenneth

Why Mussina Belongs in the Hall

Nov 25, 2008

The Plan

Eric's Time Capsule: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Nov 24, 2008

Why You Can't Travel Back in Time and Kill Hitler

In Which I Try To Explain Twilight

Nov 21, 2008

Pros and Cons of Being the Sexiest Man Alive

For those of you thinking of applying for the position in the future.

Nov 20, 2008

Deep Vote predicts the Oscars

The Best Show on TV

As we prepare to bid "The Shield" a fond farewell next Tuesday, at last it assumes its rightful place at the top of the television heap.

Nov 19, 2008

Trey Parker on a South Park Movie Sequel

Nov 18, 2008

All the old Dudes gather at New York's Big Lebowski festival

A Word from Our Sponsors

It appears we're not exactly pulling in the cream of the crop when it comes to ad buys.

Nov 17, 2008

Five TV Shows That Predicted the Future

Cinematical Seven: Outrageous Oscar Disqualifications

Nov 16, 2008

Lose the BlackBerry? Yes He Can, Maybe

Nov 15, 2008

Tina Fey: Entertainer of the Year

Nov 14, 2008

New Slogans for the Detroit Lions

Because making the team better doesn't really seem to be an option.

Nov 11, 2008

Obama Victory Raises Social Significance of Basketball

Nov 9, 2008

'Dark Knight' as Dark Horse

Nov 7, 2008

Surprising Moments from the 2008 Election That May Not Have Actually Happened

Though it would have been more entertaining if they had.

NFL 2008 - Week 10

I pretty much mailed it in this week, folks. I'm not going to lie.

Nov 6, 2008

The Anti-Monster Routine

Can "The Daily Show" Survive the Barack Obama Presidency?

Nov 5, 2008

On the Wrong Foot

Nov 4, 2008

Obama and McCain Walk Into a Bar...

Nov 2, 2008

Walter Sobchak, Neocon: The Prescient Politics of The Big Lebowski

Following the Script: Obama, McCain and The West Wing

Oct 31, 2008

Five Lives

Least Popular Halloween Treats for 2008

For those who'd like to avoid having their house egged and TP'd.

As a Conservative, I Must Say I Do Quite Like the Cut of this Obama Fellow's Jib

Oct 28, 2008

Why Obama Needs a Tina Fey

Oct 24, 2008

Other Promotions Being Offered During the 2008 World Series

Because there's nothing Americans love more than earning free stuff without having to do anything for it.

...or For Worse; Why American Politicians Have Such Rotten Marriages

I Am Not a Real American

Oct 22, 2008

More Reasons I Love Sports

Oct 21, 2008

Senator Obama Reaches a New Low

McCain, Palin and Biden all have kids in the military, but not Obama. What; are his children too good to fight for our country? Read on...

Dear People Selling Furniture On Craigslist

Oct 19, 2008

It's the Thinking Man's Game, Stupid

Oct 17, 2008

New Things the iPhone Will Soon Be Able to Do

The smartest smart phone is about to get a whole lot smarter.

Who's Playing the Race Card?

Oct 15, 2008

A Brief History of the Phrase "Manny Being Manny"

The Top Ten TV Shows of the 2007-2008 Season, Part 2

Last time I said that Part 1 was shows 10 through 5; I lied. It was 10 through 6. If you can bring yourself to trust me this time, I give you shows 5 through 1.

NBA Fantasy

Oct 13, 2008

Vote For Obama

The Best Show on TV

Oct 10, 2008

Other Signs That the Gloves Are Off in the 2008 Presidential Campaign

Just in case you missed the delicate subtleties of all the name-calling and guilt by association.

Questions of Character

Oct 9, 2008

McCain in a Bear Market

Oct 8, 2008

I’m Considering Filing Criminal Charges Against All Assholes

The "Doogie Howser, MD" Drinking Game

It's not actually a drinking game. But still.

Oct 7, 2008

Beware of Ponytail Guy

Oct 6, 2008

Nebraska, Maine

Oct 5, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 5, addendum

Falcons @ PACKERS -5.5

Sep 4, 2008

NFL 2008 - Week 1

And we're off and running with another season of the NFL and, perhaps even more importantly, another season of my NFL picks column!

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