POOP READING

Feb 22, 2013

2013 Movie Draft

Why just settle for rooting for Oscar-nominated actors when you can use them as pawns in your own diabolical chess game?

Feb 28, 2012

Movie Draft: Man of Iron

The original Man of Steel, Christopher Reeve, is both quadriplegic and dead. You'd still have more fun spending two hours with him than watching this movie.

Feb 24, 2012

2012 Movie Draft

Is it possible to mine an iota of excitement from this year's Oscars? Is Rooney Mara the name of a female person? Can a chat room transcript still make for captivating reading even if nobody in it is impersonating a 15-year-old girl? We aim to answer all these questions with a hearty "Indeed, sir!"

Oct 17, 2011

2011 TV Draft

It's just like our Movie Draft, but with twice the rules and half the fun. Oh dear lord, what have we done?

Sep 27, 2011

The PoopReading.com Top Ten TV Shows of the 2010-2011 Season

In which all of our lists, combined, tell you all you really need to know about what you should be watching.

Sep 20, 2011

Jameson's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2010-2011 Season

Thank God for Bob's Burgers, or this would be just another list of things that me and my friends have said about the same set of shows for years.

Feb 23, 2011

Movie Draft: Below the Belt

Christian Bale has made a new movie about being kicked in the balls: an experience vastly preferable to watching his movie.

Feb 21, 2011

2011 Movie Draft

What were you going to do with the Oscars on Sunday – just watch them? We remixed the sumbitches! Welcome to the future!

Sep 21, 2010

The Top Ten Shows of the 2009-2010 TV Season

If you don't watch these shows, you're bad and wrong.

Sep 17, 2010

Jameson's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2009-2010 Season

If you can stand it, another pasty white nerd will celebrate 30 Rock, Louie, and Modern Family. (Also, I proudly present the only list in which cable shows outweigh the networks!)

Mar 12, 2010

Movie Draft: Second Thought

If you thought you'd seen everything Woody Harrelson would do with a dead person, you were wrong.

Mar 5, 2010

Oscar Picks 2010 (Jameson Edition)!

Pretty much the same list of predictions you can get anywhere else online, with a lot more crazed ranting about the meaninglessness of it all.

Mar 3, 2010

2010 Movie Draft

We did this last year and you shit your pants from its awesomeness. All we can say is, we hope you bought at least two new pairs of pants this year.

Mar 2, 2010

The Five-Year Oscar Rule: Best Picture, 2004

Brandon wants to shoot DVDs into space. Mike wants to shave Morgan Spurlock. Joe threatens to punch Jameson in the face. Jameson threatens to burn down the Internet. But in the end, the love is just too strong...

Nov 6, 2009

Half the Battle

Deconstructing the Nicolas Cage apocalypse movie Knowing. Now that we have an inkling why he made it, why the hell was it ever America's #1 movie?

Aug 26, 2009

Jameson's Top Ten TV Shows of the 2008-09 Season

You've read the top ten lists that make no mention of Psych – now read the one that mentions it constantly!

May 27, 2009

2009 Upfronts Quiz

Can you guess which shows the TV networks just announced for the fall season? The answers may be more ridiculous than you think.

May 1, 2009

Allow Me to Retort

Joe and I don't always agree – as Isaac (Robert Guillaume) said on Sports Night, if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. Last Friday was like Isaac Day here at Poop Reading.

Feb 20, 2009

Oscar Picks 2009 (Jameson Edition)!

If you read Joe's Oscar picks and thought to yourself, "These are entertaining and insightful, but I prefer fewer laughs and more spittle-spewing rants," then you are in luck, my friends!

Feb 19, 2009

Movie Draft: Son of Oklahoma

The fourth of four reviews of the films from the 2009 Movie Draft gives a taste of rural politics, steamy sexual intrigue, and family secrets with Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, and who else but Angelina Jolie?

Feb 17, 2009

2009 Movie Draft

Fire. Sliced bread. The automobile. Flight. Landing on the moon. These were some of mankind's greatest achievements. Until now.

Feb 12, 2009

The Five-Year Oscar Rule: Best Picture, 2003

While everyone debates which movie deserves to win at this year's Oscars, we take a look at who should have won in 2003. Be warned: the Academy's choices don't look any better in the long view.

Jan 20, 2009

How to Waste an Oscar

In which we examine some films that are shoo-ins for Academy Award nominations, and why they shouldn't (necessarily) be.

Jan 15, 2009

12 Underappreciated Comedy Actors and Actresses

These people are smart, funny, and hardworking. What do they have to do to get the recognition they deserve? Be smarter, funnier, and hardworkinger?

Nov 13, 2008

Homosexuality vs. Genesis: An Analysis of "Solsbury Hill"

A gesture of friendship takes an unexpected turn.

Nov 7, 2008

Yes, It Can

Joe said it more succinctly: The Daily Show is very likely to survive Obama's presidency. But in case you're curious why it will, read on.

Oct 16, 2008

Top Ten TV Shows, 2007-2008 Season

Splitting lists is for cowards trying to pad out their archives. My archives speak for themselves!

Jameson Simmons has two goals in life. To become a professional character animator, and to rid the Internet of stupid people. He's made about equal progress on both. He writes semi-regularly at onebee.com, and he lives in Florida with his TiVo and their girlfriend.

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